Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
