I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
