why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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