She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize