that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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