I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
