i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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