this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
