i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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