lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
