we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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