Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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