i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
