I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
