If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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