yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
