I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
