love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
