So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
