great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
