sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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