I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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