Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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