Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
