Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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