he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize