Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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