using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
