It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
