At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
