she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
