just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
