Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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