You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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