i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
