Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
