And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
