Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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