woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
