No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize