He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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