remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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