he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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