fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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