Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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