Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
