The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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