I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
