Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
