What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
