I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
