im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
