The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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