You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
