i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize