im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
