Porn is love you can see.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
