??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
