i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
