he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
