so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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