we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
