dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
