Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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