At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
