I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
