I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
