I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
