I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
dude. I can hear the air.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
