A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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